Monday, August 31

My Parents Are the Exception

Warning: This post has the potential to get whiny.

Since I am not in the mood to come up with a long winded thesis to this post, I'm just going to jump right on in and get the water splashing...

I am sick and tired of getting sneered at and laughed at when someone finds out that 1) I am an English student, minoring in History and that 2) I write novels. Oh but not any type of novel, I write historical romance novels. So much worse. Apparently.

It's gotten to the point where I don't talk about my writing to other people and I dread the conversation when someone brings it up - not out of any sort of interest, but because they like to snicker at the fact that I have such dreams. Oh and by the way, these people are family. Snorts. Loving aren't they?

No, I am not ashamed of what I do, I'm just tired of hearing about it. Why would I be ashamed when I'm actually trying to do something with my life? It's not like I've dropped everything to write. I'm 19 and in school, so that if need be, I can help support my family in the future.

I know I've touched on these subjects before, but I find that with the approach of my third year of college and the fact that I'm only 25 000 words away from finishing the first draft of my novel, these issues have become exceedingly prominent in my day to day life. As sad as that may be.

It's just painful when I can't act like myself around my own family. I can't talk about school, because they think it's all fun and games ie., drinking, partying etc... Which as you all know, is not me. They won't even acknowledge the fact that college can be tough if the attendee actually cares about their grades. Nope. They just think my A+'s and A's come to me naturally. HAH! I wish.

And I most assuredly cannot talk about my writing. I always get comments like "when is your novel going to be finished" -snicker snicker- or "what's it about again?" so they can merely talk about how writing a book is so easy, especially when it's a romance novel. It's actually become a family joke - I've become the family joke. I don't think I need to tell you all how much that hurts. ESPECIALLY because they have never read a single thing I've written. They haven't read any of my college essays that were given 100% and photocopied to be passed around the English Dept office, or were put up as examples of publishable literary essays in classrooms. Nope. I mean, why would they read that?

They haven't read any of the poems I had published in my younger years, nor have they read a single page of my story. Oh, but do you know what the funniest thing is? They expect to get free, signed copies of my work and they have demanded they get dedications in my books. I have several choice words for them in response, but I shall refrain from posting them. No point in sullying my blog.

Anyway, needless to say, that's not happening.

-takes a deep breath-

Alright, now that I've vented a little, I feel a lot better. Thank you for sticking through that. I know it probably got a bit tedious. I also know it probably wasn't the best way to vent, but I really needed to.

So I've also decided I'm going to try some of those themed blog days, like WIP Wednesday. I think that will help me post during school. What do you think? Any suggestions for themes?

On a side note, it is 5:02pm and I already have 39 visitors to my blog today 0___0 uh WOW?

So how was every ones Monday? I had blood taken for testing, so I'm feeling pretty woozy today. I know they needed to take some to check my levels, but I'm already dangerously low on iron, so what do they do? Take my blood. Sighs. What a vicious, viscous circle. But my daddy was nice and made me hard boiled eggs afterwards =]

What did you do on the weekend?


  1. Awww Nattie poo, that really sucks that your family doesn't support you the way they should! Just know I'm always proud of you and jealous because I would never have the talent, creativity, or patience to write a novel (even though I kinda wish I could!)

    My weekend was goood. Tried to go to some parties at school this weekend, but they were all busted by the polizzle. Sunday I went home to go to the fair and I saw Jimmy Wayne, Dierks Bentley, and Brad Paisley in concert! It was a VERY good one!

    Hmm what else. Ohh today I had a job interview! Just at TJ Maxx, a clothes store, but I hope I get it since I need the moneyyy. But who doesn't?

  2. I know how you feel Natalie. Except at least I don't get it from my family (mind you my entire family is very much an art driven). However students at the university give it the worst.

    Because U of L is mostly a business and teacching university, fine arts students are frowned upon. When I talk to people, as soon as I say I'm a new media major I can just see them give a look of disgust and say "oh" like what I do is useless and will never get me somewhere in life (lets see what they do when they need someone to design something for a project :p). On the first day of orientation I actually had a drama major tellme that new media students were stupid dorks (this was before he knew I was a new media major)

    Ignore the criticism. You will end up being happier in life doing something you love, insteadd of something that will get your family approval. If there wasn't anyone who wrote books then what would we do for enjoyment? Same as if there weren't new media students you wouldn't have movies to go watch.

    I can't believe there are people who actually scoff at that when I admire you for having so much will power and drive to accomplish something that amazing so young.

  3. So I finally got around to reading your blog. I'm sorry about your family. It kind of sounds like how mine is towards me, but you may be worse off. I just want to let you know how stoked I am for your novel. You have no idea lol

    Keep up your writing, I'm so super proud of you. I think your family's gonna get a right kick in the butt when they realize just how amazing and successful of an author you'll be (and once they possibly find their names gone from the dedication ;])

    Love ya!

  4. It actually really hurts to hear about your family and what they say to you and the way they treat you. I know what an amazing writing you are and how hard you work. When other people treat you the way they do, it makes me upset and angry (and you know it's hard to get me angry, haha).

    But you know what? You're going to make something of yourself. You're going to accomplish this and finish your novel, and I honestly think that no matter how well it does, you're going to feel on top of the world. Because you deserve it. I just want you to know how proud everyone else is of what you've accomplished.

    By the way, WTF is WIP?

  5. I spent the weekend entertaining my mother in law, so it was okay. My writing wasn't discussed, and I'm happier that way. Most people don't know I write, and what's been happening to you is part of the reason why. Most people who don't write have no clue about what it takes to finish a book and then actually get published.

    Sorry you have to deal with all that crap. :hugs: Hang in there.

  6. You know how truly sorry I am that our families SUCK! They live their pointless little lives and are so threatened by all that you already have already accomplished and all that you have yet to become. Dad, Chris and I beleive in you, and I guess that will just have to be enough from your family to count. PS - make sure your friends know that your Mom, Dad & boyfriend support you - don't want to get "egged" on my way home ;-)
    Love you bundles my sweet, Mumsie

  7. I agree with everyone else. Ignore the criticism and just keep writing. Be proud of your accomplishments - that means every word you write! - even if other people try to bring you down. You have the support of your mum and dad and boyfriend, and they are the people who count the most.

    I used to talk about my writing with my family and friends, but have learned not to talk about it anymore. They just don't understand how long and hard the writing process can be, and I was tired of them asking to see my WIP when I wasn't ready to share it. So I took author Gaelen Foley's advice, which you might find helpful too.

    On her website Galen says: "Don't show your writing to others too soon. Wait until it’s finished and polished before you hand it over to someone to pass judgment. The danger in showing it too soon is that their doubts about your abilities or negative remarks could dampen your enthusiasm for the work. When you’re just starting out, what you really need from others is encouragement and moral support, but most people seem to have an inner need to judge like a cranky English teacher with a red pen. You don’t need that kind of help. At least not yet. It’ll only put out your spark. For now, enthusiasm and love of the process will sustain you through the long, lonely learning curve ahead."

    Stay strong, Natalie. Someday soon your family will know what I do: you're a very talented writer!

  8. First, I just want to say you guys are amazing. Thank you so much for all of the comments. I wasn't expecting such a huge reaction but it means a lot. So thank you.

    Court- Thank you darlin'. I think you could write a novel even if you don't. I remember your HP stuff was always very good and that took a lot of work!

    LOL Neato keano! I always laugh at Brad's last name. It just sounds so... well, you know what I mean.

    That's cool! I hope you get the job too!!

    Bailey- Yeah, I can see that completely. Why'd you pick the U of L if it isn't very big in fine arts?? And thank you. I agree. I think that's part of the problem my family and I have with each other. I refuse to please them simply to please them. I did that in my younger years because I was young, and they were the adults etc... But now? Now I know who I am (at least more than I did in say high school or junior high). And I agree. When the economy collapses or you are about to die, you don't turn to business, you turn to the ARTS (aka US!) And thank you so much for the encouragement!

  9. Kimmie- I remember you talking about your family being like this all those years ago. I'm sorry they act that way towards you. You're a treasure and don't forget it.

    Thank you! I had no idea I'd be building a fan-base what, 4 years ago? With HP! I shall definitely keep it all up! It's going slowly right now, but I'm not giving up. I've always wanted to be a writer, but I listened to everyone else for years when they said you can't be one because you'd have to live in a cardboard box. Well if that's true, my box is going to be the BEST around =D! Hahahah and no, they aren't getting dedications ;)

    Megs- Hun, you are my absolute best friend, and when I think about it, I kick myself for all those lost years in high school.
    And yes, I know it's hard to get you angry - it's scary when you finally do crack =P! Thank you for all of the encouragement. And you're right. One day I will finish this novel, and even if it ends up being terrible and never sees the light of day, I'm going to feel better about myself, no matter what my family says. Because I accomplished something!

    LOL! WIP is Work In Progress.

  10. B.E.- Yeah, I'm realizing not telling people is probably the best route. But I was foolish and believed my family would be excited, or at least tolerant of my writing. The funniest thing is I think they were the most surprised out of anyone to learn that I was writing. None of my friends were surprised, nor anyone else. It's not like me writing is a new development in the past 4 months. I’ve been writing for a very long time, just not a novel. And thank you! I'm sorry you can't talk to your MIL about something so important as your writing!-hugs-
    But you've got your daughter and husband right??

    Mum- LOL yes, I know. It just sucks. Why can't they be happy IM going to college and IM in a good relationship and IM accomplishing something with my writing? Sighs. Sorry, that got a little childish sounding, LOL! Ah well, I'm going to try and not let it get to me as much as it does. And I promise you won't get egged =P Everyone knows you and Dad are insanely supportive of me (Chris too of course <3)

    Jen- Thank you, that really means a lot to me. And I agree with you, their support is the most important. Just sometimes (after a particularly BAD family dinner) I get down and need to vent to people who understand.

    Oh I know exactly what you mean! I think that's why the internet can be so helpful because you can connect with other writers. Haha the SECOND you said Gaelen Foley I knew what you were going to quote! Great minds think alike ;) And yes, I love what she says there. It's 100% true. I think my problem with their criticism over my work is that they haven't even read it! Then again, I’m glad they haven’t, because like you and Gaelen have pointed out, they’d just find something to criticize— whether it’s true or not.
    Ah well, just part of the learning process! And thank you =]


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