Friday, August 21

Warning: Post May Include Whining & Overall Despondency

Sighs. I've fallen off the wagon. No, not the literal wagon, though I'm sure if you give me a few weeks I will probably tumble from something similar to a wagon. I'm renowned for my clumsiness. I could probably make an entire blog with posts solely about my clumsy acts. I know that would amuse a great many of my family and friends. In fact, I can almost hear the heads nodding and the cheers of encouragement; but, sadly, I'm going to refrain. I'd like to have some dignity left.

Okay, got off topic. Also a common trait of mine.

Actually, I was talking about my writing. I was doing so well with meeting my quota and everything was going splendidly, but last week and now this week it's been one thing after another preventing me from getting to work. I know everyone says to write whenever you have the time... but I am just not feeling like it. I also know that everyone says to take a break if you're feeling that way... but I can't seem to let myself take that break. I wanted to have this rough copy done before school, but that's not going to happen now. And it sucks. I really don't know how much time I'm going to get to write creatively during school, so it worries me that my only writing time will be weekends and holidays.

It's a depressing thought.

But back to why I haven't been writing... Last week I had a ton of headaches from the seemingly constant weather changes. After that I think I came down with the mild case of the stomach flu. And this week? This week I've been so moody I snap at the littlest of things - and Midol isn't helping. Not exactly conducive to writing a steamy, romantic story.

Not at all.

Ergo, nothing is getting done. And it's stressing me out. Big time. I move into residence September 6th. I'd give you the number of days, but I'd rather not know. It's not that I don't like living in residence. I do. I mean, I miss my parents BIG time, but I'm one of those nerdy people that goes home every weekend anyway, so I generally manage to survive from Sunday until Thursday. Generally.

It's just... I'm tired of school. I've been in the educational system now for about 16 years. Day care, Kindergarten then grades 1-12 and then 2 years of college. Woohoo!

Yeah, no.

I know it's only two more years until I'm done, and I know it'll be worth it in the end. But I'm just tired. I don't think a 19 year old is supposed to be this tired. But alas, I am.

So that's where I am right now. Not quite sure what to do about life or writing. And yes, I am aware that my depressed state about school is likely -probably- a huge factor in my lack of writing. Which just sucks.

Any suggestions about what to do or how to deal with it all?

5 comments:

  1. Wow, this certainly sounds familiar.

    Freakishly familiar.

    Like me last year, when I was a sophomore in college. Hm.

    Welp, when you figure out how to deal with it, let me know. I still slip into this overwhelming tiredness every once in a while.

    My advice? Just give yourself a chance to recover and don't be too hard on yourself. We all need a break sometimes. I don't mean a vacation or anything, just a mental break. I know creative people tend to work mentally even when they're technically not "working," so try and turn yourself off every once in a while. I know it helps me :)

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  2. Why not try some meditation. I find it really helps to relieve stress.

    Try laying down palms up. Put on some relaxing music and do deep breathing. Imagine youself in a forest with a path. Take in all thats around you, the color of the sky, the smell, the feel of the dirt on your feet etc. Just let your imagination flow to wherever it goes.

    I do this when I'm stressed out and I feel alot better afterwards. Also just keep telling yourself that can do it...always positive thinking.

    You'll do great :D

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  3. I am definitely looking forward to a blog about your clumsiness, so you know. I know about many of them, but I'm excited.

    As far as the writing goes...well, I know what you mean (and I think you know what I mean). You know - the just not feeling like it part, but still wanting to at the same time.

    I haven't found a solution yet, so it seems kind of ridiculous for me to suggest one here, but I'll give it a go.

    As hard and impossible as it seems, you have to try to give yourself a break. I don't mean from writing. If giving yourself a break gives you a break from writing, so be it. I think it's great that you have a quota, and even more amazing that you meet it. I can't believe how far along you've come with writing this, and how much effort you have put in. It honestly amazes me.

    And I think you need to sit back and try to take a look at it from my point of view. Take a look at everything you've accomplished so far. Realize all the incredible hard work you've done. You should be proud of that, not worry about not meeting your quota for a couple weeks, or having your roughdraft done by school.

    I know you've struggled with your story, and you've had times when you didn't like it. But I'm sure every author goes through that. The important thing is to not get down on yourself, because you've accomplished so much.

    The headaches, the irritability, and even possibly the stomach flu could somewhat be a result of the stress you're putting on yourself (and I think you're putting on a lot of it). I may be wrong, and they may all just be completely unrelated, but you never know. Unfortunately if that's the case, it's kind of like a vicious circle - you're disappointed with you book, you get headaches, you can't write, you get stressed, then you get sick, then you can't write, then you get stressed - you get the point.

    I know how smart you are, how creative you are, and what an amazing writer you are. If you don't give yourself a break now, I think it's only going to get worse. Your story is important but remember - Natalie comes first.

    <3

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  4. No suggestions, just :hugs: and a little commiseration. I think everyone goes through it from time to time. I've always been fond of the phrase "When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." Somedays that's all you can do. Take a break, hang on and when you're ready, start climbing again.

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  5. Thank you everyone for the suggestions and hugs.

    It's just difficult when I know how tough the industry is. And yes, I am really hard on myself when it comes to things like this (and school). I just see my parents go to work everyday at jobs they do not particularly like and I don't want that. Chris and I have already discussed that I'm likely going to be a stay at home Mum, but I want to help out. Especially if helping out means writing! LOL!

    Meg- The multiple afflictions I've been having could be related to stress but I doubt it. I was perfectly fine until I started getting the headaches (from weather change, Mum got them too) and then I got a stomach flu thing (which Mum also got). If anything, I should be sick NOW from the stress!

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