Sunday, October 4

An Attack of Envy

Do you ever have those days? I didn't think I did... until today. Suffice it to say, Envy jumped me like an Italian hitman and took me down. Hard. I tried to put up a fight, but have you seen my muscles? No? Me neither.

Sure, I get a little sad when I see other people making headway with their novels while I remain buried beneath textbooks and assignments. But in all honesty, I've never been jealous over it before. Heck, I'm always excited for them! I see school as #1 on my priorities list for the moment; therefore, I try not to dwell on the fact that my writing has to be set aside most of the time.

This weekend, however, has not been good. I won't go into the gory details, but I will say that I was surrounded by negativity all of yesterday.* So today when I signed onto blogger and snooped around, I was not in the best of moods. Tired, a little bit cranky, and dreading going back to school, I was already having troubles wanting to write. But then I came across not one, but two blogs where the author had just recently received an offer of representation from well known Agents. That wasn't the bad part. I'm genuinely happy for them. The bad part came when I realized they were both younger than me.

Now yes, I know I'm still only 19. I've got years ahead of me, but I'm just a little bummed is all. This is the first time I've felt that evil little green monster sneak up on me and it truly caught me off guard. Pushed me flat on my arse it did-- and the ground is quite cold right now.**

So I guess my question for you writers who have been at this longer than I have is, how do you deal with these feelings? Even if you're not a writer, any and all suggestions would be welcome.

*Not my parents.
** It's snowing.


  1. Ah Nattie **hugs**

    I pretty much share my body with the green envy monster. Actually, I think it was the monster's body first and I kinda just came along.

    The best advice I ever got, (pretty much all that makes me feel better) is when someone told me:

    "What someone else has, is, or accomplished, doesn't take anything away from what you have, what you are, or what you've accomplished."

    And you've accomplished a lot Nat.

    Sorry I can't give you better advice. I kinda suck as a friend right now. I hope you're feeling better though. Those feelings really suck.

  2. If it makes you feel better, I'm twice your age, and still banging my head on the writing wall. Sigh. My advice is to count your blessings, do something that makes you happy. Chocolate never hurts. Good luck! I know how you feel.

  3. Keep at it. That's all I can say. I just did a post about this over on my blog. Not sure if you saw it or not.

    Recently, I've just had some experiences that helped me realize the really important things in my life, and publishing is not one of the things that's going to determine my happiness.

    I still get jealous and frustrated at seeing so many people getting agents. But remember where you lurk in the blogosphere - WRITER'S LAND. And when you're hanging around a bunch of serious, serious writers, you're going to run across ones who are succeeding. Don't give up, and you'll be one of them some day. I plan to be, too. Let's keep going. :)

  4. Some of us didn't start writing until we were 29, so you're way ahead of the game. Some writers started in their 40's, 60's, whatever.

    I dont think it matters what age you are or how long you've been writing. Envy hits all of us when we see people's dreams coming true. Especially when they are our dreams too.

    Hang in there. You have PLENTY of time. It will happen for you too.

  5. I feel your pain. I finished one novel and instead of feeling giddy, I'm thinking of rewriting it. The second book I'm working on is slow going because of school and taking care of my family. Also, it totally sucks when you see people like Sherrilyn Kenyon who can write 30 pages a day which means she could get a book done in two weeks!

    The best thing to do is just to write because you love it and not worry about agents and such for now.

  6. :shrug: It's part of the hamster-wheel we choose to run on. Accept the jealousy, wallow in it if you have to, and then kick it to the curb. You're doing fine. :hugs:

  7. I've had an attack of envy too. Usually on days I'm frustrated because I haven't written a word in weeks. Or whenever I think about how long it's taking me to complete one WIP.

    I think every unpublished writer feels envy at some point, so don't beat yourself up over it. Try not to dwell on the success of others and just concentrate on your goals. Use your envy as motivation to keep writing the best book you can write. You have plenty of time to see your dreams come true.

  8. Thank you everyone for all of your wonderful comments. I moved past my envy relatively quickly and just kept working on my own story.


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