Friday, January 22

The (Secret) Hazards of Being an English Major

This warning also applies to History majors or any occupation having to do with books, most especially dry pieces of literature which cause the brain to implode on itself, and all forms of thought to dissolve instantaneously... which, let's face it, would happen if your brain imploded... But, I digress...

An Official Warning Straight From the Rather Sleepy Mind of an Imaginative and Clumsy Student:

Regardless of what you may believe, it is actually dangerous to fall asleep with a book on your face. Never mind the potential suffocating hazards attached to falling asleep with a heavy tome blocking your airways (do not get me started), the most dangerous hazard, by far, is a paper cut. Trust me on this. Falling asleep with a book on your face can lead to paper cuts in unusual and rather unpleasant places. Like say, for example, your nose. You laugh now, but this is a serious and terrifying condition we students face on a daily basis. Do not ask me the exact specifics of how one acquires a paper cut there of all places, just know of the danger and be always vigilant my writerly friends. Always vigilant.

That is all. You may now carry on with your regular, paper cut free programming-- though, I'm not sure why you would, it's so uneventful... ;)

17 comments:

  1. I concur. Facial Papercuts are right up there with Carpel Tunnel Syndrome and Reader's Blindess. Best to avoid at all costs!

    :D

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  2. Getting a paper cut in my eye is literally my #1 fear, this gave me uber chills.

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  3. Thank you for following my blog, and good luck with those papercuts!

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  4. As a former English major, all I can say is you are so right! Be careful!

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  5. Hahahaha! The perils of beeing bookish...very good. There should be a surgeon general's warning on the back of books, maybe?

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  6. I am an English major and I understand you 100%!

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  7. Jon- LOL! Yes, exactly. Reader's Blindness... Shudders. That is truly the worst hazard out there.

    Catherine- Good, good. Wouldn't want you to injure yourself =D

    Jonathon- Hahaha. Is that even possible?! Well, I guess I shouldnt question it, since I just had a post on paper cuts on the nose...


    Liza- Heh, you're welcome, and thanks. I'll try my hardest (It really hurts!)

    Angie- Haha, thanks. Other people just don't understand. They really dont =P

    Carolina- YES! Ohh, I wonder if we could petition someone. Or we could just make stickers and walk around the bookstores slapping them on the back of books... you know, for OTHER people's protection. Not at all to remind ourselves ;)

    Vicky- Yay! You always understand my school related problems! I love it! =]

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  8. LOL... I know this doesn't quite apply, but it's somewhat relative. I once got a papercut from a cardboard box. WHOOOOOOO HOOOOO that felt like kittens licking me, assuming the kittens tongues were laced with acid and pointed with rusty nails.

    Ok, my turn to digress.

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  9. I HATE paper cuts on my face - owww!! :-)

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  10. Yes, I agree. But reading in bed is so much fun! I try to do it every single night. :)

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  11. Voidwalker- LOL! Yes, those are quite painful. And you never know, some kittens might be...

    Shannon- Heh, yeah. They arent fun =(

    Elana- Oh, yes, you've got me there. I love reading in bed too. Hmm, maybe there is some sort of nose guard we can come up with?

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  12. Ouch! Paper cuts suck no matter what, but on the nose?!
    Love your blog! I've given you the Happy Award on my blog! Swing by to pick it up. Congrats!
    Courtney Reese's Blog

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  13. Bahaha this was hilarious... and you're right I laugh now but when it happens I'll have only myself to blame for not listening to you!

    Awesome blog! I am glad I came across it! Look forward to reading more!

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  14. Courtney- Aww thanks! I'll be sure to stop by soon =]

    Jen- Heh thanks =]

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