I'm stuck. And by stuck, I mean call the fire dept because they need to hoist me out, stuck.
The problem is, I don't have writers block.* If I had writers block, I could work my way around that. I could have brain storming sessions or read my story, or do any number of things to trigger my Muse.
But no, my problem can't be that simple. You see, I still have tons of ideas floating around in my head and I even have the next few chapters plotted out with significant detail. There's no problem when it comes to my actual story.
My problem is a lack of emotional and mental stamina. I can't seem to do much more than stare morosely out my window.** Now, I know everyone says to just write your way through your problems, whatever they may be, but honestly, right now I just feel like eating and sleeping and crying.
I've already "told" myself I can take a few days to try and regroup before I force myself to write, but that doesn't stop me from feeling like I'm failing somehow.
I should be writing. Everyone is expecting me to finish my novel this summer and I feel like if I'm not writing right now, I'm letting everyone down. Including myself.
I didn't write while I was in Virginia. I felt spending time with Christopher was more important. If I'd sat down to write, I would have shut myself away in my room and ignored the world. I only had 2 weeks with him, so I didn't want to do that. But now, my lack of writing the past 2 weeks is not helping my feeling of failure now.
I just feel a little lost.
Have any of you felt this way before? What did you do to "fix" these feelings?*** Is writing my way through this my best chance? Or do you think it will stress me out more and that I should wait until I'm calmer before I pick up my story again (if this is the case, it would only be "put off" for a day or two)?
*Never thought I'd say those words in the same sentence.
** For those who don't know, I flew home from Virginia Sunday night, leaving my fiance behind (he lives there. I do not).
*** I'm not asking you guys to solve my emotional turmoil right now over having to leave Christopher behind. I'm asking what you guys did about the feelings of failure you've experienced.